00:00:00 -- 00:00:14
We are live here on Facebook. I also have Instagram going. So two places to watch. And if you're on Facebook, you can see slides. So that's just a fun view.
00:00:14 -- 00:00:49
If you're on Instagram, no slides for you. But anyways, we are going to talk about goal setting over the next month or so, or maybe longer, depending on how it goes. And you know, the reason why I decided to go with goal setting is because goal setting is something that we hear a lot about, but it's never done in a way that I've seen where you feel like you can actually do it. Like, there's the smart goals and then you set the goals and then you don't achieve the goals and there's New Year's resolutions and then we give up. And they say it's by like the second week that most people give up on their, their goals.
00:00:49 -- 00:01:30
And I want to try to create a way that you can set a goals and actually achieve your goals and like somewhat painlessly, right. Like in a way that you don't feel like you're torturing yourself to get these goals met. So the way that we do that is we focus on different areas. The funny thing about focus on different areas, don't get overwhelmed. Because what you want to achieve with all these different areas, health and wellness, business or your career, relationships and social and spirituality and faith, the types of things we need to do on a daily basis to achieve our goals, they're actually all gonna kind of merge together and in a way that you probably wouldn't have thought of.
00:01:30 -- 00:02:01
And that's really what I want to get down to. And why we look at all these different areas is because if you want, if you have a weight loss goal and you also have a career goal, there's underlying things that need to happen in your life to make those things happen. And that that underlying thing is most likely the same thing to, to make both of those things happen. In other words, if you're not following through on your food and exercise habits each day, there's a reason behind that. And it's not because you're lazy, you're not disappointed, don't have willpower.
00:02:01 -- 00:02:28
That might be your perception, but there's so much more there, I promise. And so whatever's underneath that that's causing you to consistently not do those things, it's also what's getting in the way of your business or career goals. Or maybe if you're not making the money you want, or not attracting the clients you want, or not having the success you want, there's an underlying thing there and that's going to be the same throughout. And so I'm going to go through all these different categories. We're going to start with health and wellness.
00:02:28 -- 00:03:01
So some of the goals you might have in this category are food goals, exercise goals, weight goals, maybe around your pain, maybe around chronic conditions, maybe it's disease prevention, maybe it's mortality related, maybe there's substance use that you want to change there. Maybe it's your sleep or your sexuality and pleasure or your mental and emotional health. So all these things fall under the health and wellness umbrella. And when we talk about the health and wellness umbrella, there are some things that we want to watch out for. I call them our traps.
00:03:01 -- 00:03:20
If you followed me, you've seen me talk about some of these. I want to go into them in more detail here. The first one is saying, I don't care if it's temporary, I just need to get some weight off and then I can think about long term solutions. I hear this one all the time. I've actually had people that I've talked to and said, hey, let me help you, you know, with your, your weight goals.
00:03:20 -- 00:03:37
And there I said, you know, here's a long term way that we can accomplish this. And they're like, oh, I don't, I don't care about that right now. Like, I just need to get some weight off, get a little more comfortable. When I was a personal trainer, people would do that. They're like, oh, well, I just got to get some, some weight off and then I'll reach out and then we can go from there.
00:03:37 -- 00:03:59
And the way they want to get that weight off in that quick way is a way that they know deep down or even on the surface, it's totally temporary. Like, it's not a method that could ever last. It's something extreme, it's something super regimented and it's something that they would never do for the rest of their life. And they're like, I don't care. I'm going to do it anyway.
00:03:59 -- 00:04:11
I just got to get a little lighter, I got to feel a little better. And then I can get this up, get this off. And that is a huge problem. Hey, Steven, what's up? I see you in there.
00:04:11 -- 00:04:42
If I don't take control of my weight, food or exercise, I'm going to spiral out of control. I hear this one all the time and I totally get it. We think that the things that we don't like happening in our life, that if we want them to change, we have to grip them tightly and take control, because otherwise everything is out of control. And with this one, I always give the analogy if you're a parent, you know, with parenting, that if your child feels out of control, there is a tendency to want to control them, to get them to be under control. And if you've ever tried that, you know how well that works.
00:04:42 -- 00:05:02
That is, it doesn't work. So that's not actually how this works. So I know how uncomfortable it is to feel out of control, but we actually don't find a sense of control by controlling it more. And I'll talk more about that. I can't control myself around ice cream chips.
00:05:02 -- 00:05:14
You know, insert your food here. So I just have to get rid of it. I have to eliminate it, I have to avoid it. Can't be anywhere around me, can't have it in the house, anything like that. I understand that tendency, but that only creates binging.
00:05:14 -- 00:05:28
So deprivation creates binging. That's a whole topic in itself, but that is a trap. I just need to eat like this many calories or macros or protein per day and then I'm gonna be okay. I just got to. That goes actually back into the control thing.
00:05:28 -- 00:05:52
Like if I just control how much I'm eating and just do this, that I'll be okay. If I set a strict regimen to exercise and eat right, then I can take control of this body. A lot of these I'm surrounding around food and exercise and weight because it's the topic I ask the most about. But these can apply to anything, you know, pain and chronic conditions, etc. So the strict regimen, the control, not going to work.
00:05:52 -- 00:06:18
I just need the next fad diet pill. I'll lose this weight right now, obviously, in the GLP1 phase. I have been in this industry since 2006, the Health and wellness industry, I should say. So I've seen quite a few fads come and go, and some very dangerous, some less dangerous, but all the same, they are fads and they will eventually go away. Right now we're in the GLP1 phase.
00:06:18 -- 00:06:42
I've been through many before this, and I get it and I get the how attractive it is. And there are pros and cons to that. I have a whole presentation on that, by the way, if you want to check that out on my YouTube. I just need to lose a little weight so I can stop hating what I see in the mirror. There is an illusion that if we change the way that we look, that we will like ourselves.
00:06:42 -- 00:07:03
Better. That's probably true temporarily. But if we truly hate ourselves, then changing our physical appearance doesn't create love. Now, it does create our perception of ourselves, but there's deeper stuff that has to be worked out. And focusing on the external is a sort of convenient way to avoid what the stuff is that we really need to look at.
00:07:03 -- 00:07:23
And I hate this body so much, I just need to change it. You know, if you hate yourself, if you hate your body, you hate things about yourself. Changing it physically isn't always the first place to go. It isn't the first place to go. If our feelings are full of fear and hate and disgust, we will not achieve our goals long term.
00:07:23 -- 00:07:56
Because while these thoughts and feelings are motivational, like it's very motivational to hate your body, it's very motivational to beat yourself up for not being disciplined. It's a good way to get things going, but it's never going to work long term because it creates disconnection. Everything I teach, everything I stand for comes back to connection. Everything is cured in connection. And so that means connection to our bodies, connection to other people, connection to whatever it is that we're trying to deal with or heal.
00:07:57 -- 00:08:15
Right? So if you, you cannot have the body that you want for the rest of your life while disconnecting from it. That's not possible long term. It is possible short term, but it's not possible long term. We have to learn how to actually embody be in our bodies if we want to live in a body we love long term.
00:08:16 -- 00:08:30
This ideal body and life does not survive in disconnection. I promise you. There's no way around that. Moving into career and finance, if you have business goals, that would obviously fall under this category. Career goals would fall under this category.
00:08:30 -- 00:08:45
Anything achievement oriented. I work a lot with athletes. This is going to fall into this category. Your career is your athletic endeavors, money goals and school education goals. So those kinds of goals we're going to loop under this category.
00:08:45 -- 00:09:03
Some traps to watch out for. This was the one that I had to learn, which was money doesn't grow on trees. I just need to hustle. I come from the hustle mentality. I lived in it most of my life and I really felt like it was very, well, necessary, number one.
00:09:03 -- 00:09:30
But I thought it was very successful. I thought that my success was from hustling. And it's true that that can. Just like with dieting and those things, it can get you success, but it comes at great sacrifice. And we have to be willing to acknowledge that great sacrifice and ask ourselves, is it worth, is this success worth it if I have to sacrifice my peace, my time with my family, my balance, my health?
00:09:31 -- 00:09:48
And the answer is no. And going back to money doesn't grow on trees. That mentality is a very old school mentality and the hustle mentality. And it's not that I'm saying money does grow on trees. It's not that the opposite is necessarily true.
00:09:48 -- 00:10:23
It's just that that mindset is not actually oriented for long term success and it's certainly not oriented for sex success in a way that doesn't have extreme sacrifice. I just have to buckle down and work super hard and I'll get that promotion, the clients, the money, the success that I want. You know, I work a lot with cornhole athletes. I hear this all the time with them. They'll say, you know, they had a bad tournament, they'll come back and they say I just gotta buckle down and practice every day and put in the time and energy and effort and then I will be at the top of my game.
00:10:23 -- 00:10:48
And it's going to sound so weird to hear that that's not the right mentality. Like how could that not be the way. But when you actually learn how success works and being open to receive. And this is probably going to get a little woo woo for some of you, so just bear with me for a moment. It's actually very grounded, even though it sounds kind of woo woo.
00:10:48 -- 00:11:26
But you know, in order to attract success into our lives in a way that it is flowing and we're kind of cruising downstream as opposed to constantly swimming upstream, which is what it might feel like for you, that going, going back to going to the next couple, which is no rest for the wicked. I'll rest when I'm done. No pain, no gain, push through no matter what those. That, that's all swimming upstream and it feels hard and it feels, feels effort and it feels not so fun because it's not the way we're supposed to actually receive success. It's actually supposed to feel quite good.
00:11:27 -- 00:11:44
And I don't want to say effortless because everything requires effort. But it's not that effort that's like, I gotta hustle. Like that is just the way I'm talking about it. That like rigid, intense. I'm clenching my fists, I'm clenching my jaw.
00:11:44 -- 00:12:22
All of that is an energy that you're putting out and then it makes it very difficult for things to come in. It's very rigid, it's very hard, it's very, it's like a wall. And so everything is just so much harder as opposed to a flowy kind of like, yeah, like things are going to come my way and like I'm just like putting myself out there and I'm doing my thing and like I'm loving life and like that's a very open and flowy and like things just come in and opportunities show up. And everything that I have received in my life success wise has come from that, like flowy, like a, like, you know, I'm just showing up and wow, look at this opportunity. And how is this.
00:12:22 -- 00:12:33
And how is this my life? And how does this keep happening? And that's the energy that brings things in. And that is not that hustle mentality. That's not to say that I don't work hard.
00:12:33 -- 00:12:48
I do work hard. It's just from a completely different energy. It's not from the I have to make everything happen, which we'll get into in the spirituality and faith. Another trap is I just need to do more. Once I do this, then I'll get the success I want.
00:12:48 -- 00:13:04
Or, you know, that magic bullet or that just that book, that coach, that program. And then another one is I hate that they're successful because that means less for me. And the universe is expansive. There's more than enough for everybody. Hey, what's up, Adrian?
00:13:04 -- 00:13:24
You there in the chat? Okay. If our feelings are full of fear and desperation and urgency, we will not achieve our goals long term. While these thoughts and feelings are motivational, they disconnect us from ourselves and our potential clients or managers or fans or sponsors or whoever it is that we are trying to attract into our lives. All those opportunities.
00:13:25 -- 00:13:40
Opportunities show up to the people who are energetically aligned with those opportunities. And that comes from how you're showing up. So our career and finance goals will not be achieved once again through disconnection. This is going to be the theme. We have to be connected.
00:13:40 -- 00:13:57
So that's going to show up there. All right. Moving on to social and relationships. These are the goals that you could be creating around your friendships about your relationships, romantic or otherwise. Joining groups or social events, being in public, sharing ourselves, romantic partners, community.
00:13:57 -- 00:14:19
These are all the ways in which we could set goals for our, you know, so if you have a relationship goal, if you want more friends, if you want someone romantically in your life, this is going to fall under this category. Some traps to watch out for. I have to edit myself in order to fit in. And this might not necessarily be conscious. You might just kind of find yourself doing it as a habit.
00:14:19 -- 00:14:33
But it's. It's good to check yourself and say, am I editing myself in this situation or am I really truly being me? I know in adolescence it was survival that we kind of had to. Unless you were like bold enough and confident enough not to. Which kudos to you.
00:14:33 -- 00:14:53
That was not me. I felt like I had to have the shoes, the brand of jeans or whatever, or I was on, you know, like I couldn't exist in the school that I was in. Like if you didn't have exactly what everybody else had. And that was a really painful way to exist. And I'm glad that that's not anymore.
00:14:53 -- 00:15:17
But it was really hard for me to stop doing that because it worked, right? Like I fit in more when I did what everybody else did. I want to say xyz, but I'm afraid it could hurt their feelings or make them not like me. So you're going to see a lot of these people pleasing tendencies come in in this category that we really need to watch out for. It's better to avoid social situations and conflict than deal with them head on.
00:15:17 -- 00:15:24
That was a big one for me. I would just avoid it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to make them feel bad. I don't want to hurt them feeling.
00:15:24 -- 00:15:49
Even though it was so necessary to say things and not to go sort of gender here. But it's mostly women that you'll. You'll hear really struggle with the getting angry and saying what needs to be said and worried about how the other person's going to receive it. It's not that it doesn't happen for men and it's not that women all over do this. Just if I was to choose a gender in terms of which one struggles with more I see the people pleasing more on the.
00:15:49 -- 00:16:01
On the women's side in this way. Avoiding conflict, not being comfortable with anger. They caused me to feel this way, therefore they need to change. They made me feel this way, so they need to change. It's not me.
00:16:01 -- 00:16:26
I understand that trap. But the truth is people can't really take responsibility for how you feel. You have a part in that too. And so if we put it on them to change, then we remove all age of c to be able to be in charge of our own lives. I want my partner or my child or my friend to behave differently so that I will react in a way that makes them never want to do that again.
00:16:27 -- 00:16:50
In other words, like, I don't like that they do this. So I'M going to be really rude or mean or say something sippy or make them feel bad so they stop doing that behavior. Like, I want to deter them from behaving in a way I don't like. So I'm going to respond in a way that, that's uncomfortable for them. This is a super common way to kind of unconsciously manipulate people.
00:16:51 -- 00:17:16
I don't think we all do it on purpose. It's just like, hey, I don't like that behavior. And so I'm just going to do something that I know will make them feel uncomfortable and then they're naturally going to stop that behavior because they don't want to avoid that outcome of me being whatever I'm being. But that is a way to control or manipulate another person. And it's not a success way to be in a relationship with someone if you want to stay connected to them.
00:17:16 -- 00:17:35
And I hope that everyone's goal in relationships is to be connected. That creates disconnection on a deep subconscious level that over time will create resentment and eventually could cause a sever in the relationship. If I leave with kindness, they'll walk all over me. I hear this a lot with dating. I hear it with parenting.
00:17:37 -- 00:18:00
I mean, maybe friendships too, but there's this fear that if you're just truly kind and compassionate that they're going to take advantage. And I would hope that the people you are in. I'm not talking about strangers, I'm talking about people you are in relationships with. I would hope that the people you're in relationships with wouldn't do that. And I know with children it can get a little sticky.
00:18:00 -- 00:18:18
But the truth is if you lead with connection, it's always going to end up better. Anything you do to sever a connection with a child is only going to create problems long term. Good guys or good girls finish last. I hear this with dating, obviously. And the truth is that it's.
00:18:18 -- 00:18:32
I'm gonna, I'm speak for women. I can't speak for men. Women are attracted to confident men. And sometimes when these people call them as nice, I'm a nice guy, I'm too much of a nice guy. It's not, it's not that you're too nice.
00:18:32 -- 00:19:02
It's maybe that you're just not being bold and so you're just kind of being quiet or meek or, you know, you hear the alpha beta conversation. So it's not that women aren't attracted to good guys. I mean, I would hope that women want good guys. It's that they're they're attracted to men who are embodying themselves, who are confident, who are speaking up, who are just truly being themselves full out without worry. That's the attraction.
00:19:02 -- 00:19:28
I just need to lose weight, make more money or whatever, and I'll have the relationships that I want. This goes back to that. Like, I just need something external to change, for something internal to change. In this case, you're saying I want to change something externally in me so that something changes internally in them as opposed to the one with weight and health, which is more about external in you, external, internal in you. But that's not how this works.
00:19:28 -- 00:20:00
People are attracted to energy. So it is true that if you start putting time and energy into yourself and taking care of yourself and you're feeling better about yourself, they're going to be attracted to that. But it's not about the external change or the physical change or even reaching the goal. It's about actually doing the things you want to do and following through the things you want to do and showing up as yourself 100% and feeling good about who you are and, and really just embodying yourself and being you. That's what they want.
00:20:00 -- 00:20:20
And a lot of times when we don't have the body we want the money, we want the career, we want that. Once again, the underlying thing, it's not the actual physical expression of those things. It's the how we're showing up day to day that's creating that result. And then how we have to show up to create the opposite of that result. And that's the attraction.
00:20:20 -- 00:20:38
I don't trust people unless they prove themselves to me. You know, this probably comes from stuff that's happened in the past that we're bringing into the present or the future. And that's really not fair to anybody that shows up in your current life. And then everyone's out to get me. And that once again, piggybacks on what I just said.
00:20:38 -- 00:21:00
We have to show up with a blank slate. We have to show up assuming the best, or what are we even doing? Like, what's what? How are we going to create connection if we're disconnected before we even started? Mostly with ourselves, because we're ignoring the truth about ourselves and what we think about people and why we think that, and the wounds we haven't yet healed.
00:21:01 -- 00:21:21
If our feelings are full of fear and defensiveness and hostility and isolation, we're not going to achieve our goals long term. And while these thoughts and feelings can elicit the responses that we want from the people around us in Other words, it works, right? You can manipulate and control people, but it disconnects us from them. And our relationship and our social goals will not be achieved through disconnection. It just won't.
00:21:22 -- 00:21:38
You will not have healthy, thriving relationships if there's an underlying theme of disconnection. And lastly, let's talk about spirituality and faith. This could be about religion, but that's not even necessarily the bulk of it. That just falls under this category. It's your spiritual beliefs.
00:21:38 -- 00:22:10
It's really trust and faith and intuition. And the unknown is mostly what I show up with in this category because I'm not here to tell anybody about any spiritual beliefs. I just want to talk about the overarching idea that there is some sort of trust and faith and intuition that happens in this world. There's a whole lot of unknown that the natural science world can't explain. That if we only operate in natural science, we're going to struggle sometimes, and we need to have a place for the unknown to exist and be okay with that.
00:22:10 -- 00:22:24
So some things to watch out for here is I won't believe it until I see it. If you operate from this space. If I won't believe it until I see it, life is going to be very difficult. We have to let things happen that we don't necessarily understand. Trust me.
00:22:24 -- 00:22:43
Five years ago, when I was, like, setting my goals, never in a million years that I think it was going to be cornhole commentator and sideline reporter. Like, there's no way. And so when that opportunity. And that opportunity didn't start there, by the way. The opportunity started with someone saying, hey, I'm starting a female podcast about cornhole.
00:22:43 -- 00:23:06
So I did not know that was ever going to lead to this. So if I had to believe it before I saw it, I wouldn't have even taken the first step. I was just like, I don't know where this is going to go, but it feels like I'm being drawn to it and I'm just going to go for it. And then it got me here. So I was just trusting and in faith that this was going to take me because that was going to take all the time away from what I was currently doing.
00:23:07 -- 00:23:29
It even caused me to put my PhD on hold because I couldn't handle the workload. So I really stepped in with trust and faith with absolutely no idea where it was going to go. And that worked out really well for me. But that goes into the next bullet, which is that I can't trust myself is a big problem. I had to at Some point, decide that I can trust myself, I can trust my instincts.
00:23:29 -- 00:23:51
I can trust that if I don't follow through with something, there's something deeper there. It's not that I'm unmotivated person, that there's more to the story. Like, I trust myself. I trust myself when I want rest, when I want food, when I want to work. Like, I just have this overarching trust in my instincts, and I trust they'll lead me somewhere good.
00:23:52 -- 00:24:03
And you have to have that. You have to have that underlying belief in yourself. Nobody can do that for you. I have to do everything on my own. This goes back to hustle mentality.
00:24:03 -- 00:24:23
You have to allow some miracles, some unknowns, some unexplainable opportunities when you're setting goals. A lot of them might feel so big that it's like, I don't even know I can do this right. I've been saying for 15 years that I'm going to have my own reality show. I still believe, without a doubt I will have that. There's no evidence for that.
00:24:23 -- 00:24:40
There's nobody offering it to me. I don't have any experience or contacts with that. But I still believe it's going to happen. And I don't believe I have to make it happen. I believe I just keep showing up and responding to opportunities and doing things that make me feel passionate and excited and it will ultimately show up.
00:24:40 -- 00:24:55
Or my favorite mantra, this or something better. I say that all the time. It's this or something better. I carry the burden of everything that happens. When something bad happens, I remember why I can't trust anything or anyone.
00:24:55 -- 00:25:07
These are all the. These are more like beliefs, right? These are thoughts that might be going through your head. Everything happens to me. I can't ever catch a break when something bad happens, I'm just reminded this is the way things are for me.
00:25:07 -- 00:25:29
I can't just relax and live my life. I always have to hustle and work harder than everyone else. And if I accept and surrender, things will get worse. That last one, the reason why I just kept reading through the bullets there, is because that last one explains all the ones before it. All those thoughts and beliefs and realities come from the underlying belief that if I accept and surrender, that things will get worse.
00:25:29 -- 00:25:54
So years ago, about 10 years ago, 11, 12 years ago, I was in a really, really, really bad spot. And I remember telling myself, like, I would have these thoughts, like, I feel like a failure. And then I would immediately be like, optimism, like, no, you're not a failure. Look at all look at what you have. You have, you know, a loving boyfriend and you have, you know, a roof over your head and like, you know, just gratitude, gratitude, optimism, optimism.
00:25:55 -- 00:26:11
And every day I would say, God, I was not in a good place and I was not good financially. We were living with my soon to be in laws. Like we didn't have a house. Like, it was just a really bad time. And finally I just said, you know what?
00:26:12 -- 00:26:24
I'm an effing failure right now. It doesn't matter if it's true to anybody else. That is how I felt. And I had to just acknowledge how I felt. Whether it's real, whether it's true, whether anybody else would say that about me.
00:26:24 -- 00:26:40
At that moment in my life, I felt like a complete and utter failure. And I had to acknowledge it. And as soon as I did that, I just sort of surrendered into it. Like, yep, that's what I am in my own, you know, definition. I am a complete and utter failure.
00:26:40 -- 00:26:56
Like, this is a disaster. And it's like it relieved everything. It relieved every, all those, those that pressure off of me. It was like then I could move forward. It was like I was just avoiding this deep dark feeling that I had.
00:26:56 -- 00:27:14
And everything I did came from this false optimism, this false, no, I'm good, everything's fine. But it was a lie because I didn't feel that way. And even though someone worse off than me would say, you're doing great, I didn't feel that way. And my reality was that's not how I felt. And I had to just acknowledge how I felt.
00:27:14 -- 00:27:32
And as soon as I did that, everything changed. I was just like, I don't know, I don't think it can get much worse. Like, I just gotta kind of roll with it. And it was like I immediately felt better and opportunity started showing up. That rigidity, that tension, that resistance lifted.
00:27:32 -- 00:27:47
And I just said, whatever, universe, wherever you're gonna take me, you're gonna take me and I'm here for it. And there's nothing I can do to control it because it can't get worse than what I have now. And it is what it is. And everything opened up from that. Stan said, love that mantra.
00:27:47 -- 00:27:52
I've been searching for a daily mantra. That's it. This or better. I think that's the one you're talking about. This or better.
00:27:52 -- 00:28:17
That is my true mantra. If our feelings are full of fear and insecurity, we will not achieve our goals long term. While these thoughts and feelings are motivational, they disconnect us from any Effortless help that can come in. If you think you have to make everything happen, you make it impossible for something to happen with any other way. You make it impossible for miracles, for opportunities for unexplainable, unknown things to happen.
00:28:17 -- 00:28:34
Like, you have to be willing to say, I just want this, and I'm just going to keep. I'm not going to sit and binge watch Netflix for a week straight unless that's what you need. I'm still going to show up. I'm still going to do life. I'm going to be vibrant and exude whatever it is I want to exude and live my life.
00:28:34 -- 00:28:52
And I'm going to hold this goal that this is going to happen. I don't have to spend every waking minute trying to make it happen, that I can trust that me just doing the things that I naturally do and want to do and feel guided to do are going to be enough. And I'm going to allow that to come for something better.
00:28:54 -- 00:29:18
So when setting goals, it's most important to show up with honesty and integrity. And this means when we say we want something, it's something that we absolutely want. This is tricky because we all come from parents, and parents have their own agendas. Oh, you can't hear me. Does anybody else not hear me?
00:29:18 -- 00:29:37
Let me know if you can't hear on Instagram. So, you know, the honesty, integrity is most important because if it's a goal that somebody had for us, then we need to check ourselves and make sure that's actually our goal. Like, did we want that or did somebody want this? Do I feel like this is what I should do? Is this what, you know, the.
00:29:37 -- 00:29:52
Our society or culture says I should want? Or is this something I actually want? And a good way to check yourself with this is if you. There's nobody else on the planet, would you still want this goal? Like, if nobody was here to witness it, would you still want it?
00:29:52 -- 00:30:05
I talk about this a lot with weight. Like, do you just feel like you need to be thinner because people would acknowledge you're thinner? Or is that just for you? If nobody else could it, then would that change that goal? Make sure it's something you want?
00:30:06 -- 00:30:19
Fear kills faith and your goals. Yeah. And Steven, look, I hear you, but the thing is, if you have fear, you have fear and you got to acknowledge it. We can't pretend it's not there. Shame exists in secrecy and in the dark.
00:30:19 -- 00:30:41
So being willing to say, I'm scared, I'm worried about this, and then having it just live there is going to be really important. So what do you actually want? And show up with honesty, integrity, that this is what you actually want. And don't be afraid if it's something bold, you know, be willing to say I want this and it's big and it's. Who am I to say I should have that?
00:30:41 -- 00:30:58
Like be willing to go there. It can't be something we should want based on what people have told us or what we think we should want. That's basically repeating what I just said. But they think we should want is really important. Look at yourself.
00:30:58 -- 00:31:09
Like, why do I want this? Right? And that goes into what we're going to talk about next week, which is the why. So I'm going to stop the screen share there. If I could figure out how.
00:31:10 -- 00:31:26
Oh, I'll just leave it there. No, there's got to be a way. How do you stop the screen share? Okay, well, while I do that, any questions, please pop them in the chat and I'm going to figure out if I can stop the screen share. Maybe, maybe not.
00:31:26 -- 00:31:48
We don't know. I've never done a screen share before. I feel like it's new on Facebook or at least since I've used it and I don't know, I don't know, I can't figure it out. Alright guys, so that is what I wanted to cover today, which is the what. And so if I'm gonna leave you with an assignment, it's going to be to write out all of what you want.
00:31:48 -- 00:32:11
So go to the four categories. You know what if I can go back to that first screen really quick here for you. Okay, so you have health and wellness, career and finance, Social and relationships and spirituality and faith. What do you want from like just mind dump it out every single category. No, there's no screen share on Instagram.
00:32:11 -- 00:32:23
That would be on Facebook. So I have the screen share on Facebook and just me on Instagram. So you can have either or both. But I want you for your assignment. We're going to meet next week, same time, same place, to talk about the why.
00:32:23 -- 00:32:34
But before we get to the why, we need the what. So get out a piece of paper, write each category and just mind dump everything you want. Don't hold back. Dream as big as you can dream. Right?
00:32:34 -- 00:33:10
Or everything that's ever crossed your mind. What do you want out of these four areas? And once we have that, we'll go into the why next week and continue figuring out what's at the foundation of all of these. Because like I said at the beginning of this, there's something underlying every single one of these components, and it's most likely going to be the same thing for all of them. And so while we think it might be overwhelming, like, I have all these goals and all these categories and how am I going to possibly do all this, there's actually something we can change that will change all of them, and that's what we want to start to kind of get down to.
00:33:11 -- 00:33:30
And so a lot of that's going to come to our beliefs and our programming and things like that. So we'll dig deeper into that. But this week's assignment, if you're following along for this journey, is going to be writing out what you want. And I want you to be really honest and look at each one and say, is this what I really want? Is this what somebody wants for me?
00:33:30 -- 00:33:47
Or is this what I think I should want? Or is this what I really want just for me? If nobody else was here to witness it? If nobody else is to give me kudos, if nobody else is to say, you know, add a boy, add a girl, it's just what I want intuitively for me. And that's where we're going to start from and build from.
00:33:47 -- 00:34:02
All right, if there's no other questions, then we will end it here and we'll meet back next week. So thanks everyone who joined me live, and if you're in the replay, feel free to drop any comments or things in the chat and we'll see you next time.
