Understanding the Ego and Body Image

Our body image issues often originate in the ego. The ego, our false self, separate and disconnected, focuses on survival. It has its ideals and goals to attain to make it feel okay and lovable. It constantly seeks to fix itself and fix life. However, the ego is not all bad - it defines our boundaries and individuality. When our ego feels good, we tend to like our bodies better. Conversely, when it feels bad, we like our bodies less. This is because we only look as good as we feel.

Correcting Incorrect Thinking

A common misconception most of us harbor is, “I can only feel good once I look good.” This is fundamentally incorrect. We must feel good first, then the body can change. Accepting and rejoicing in the body as it is forms a cornerstone of a healthy body image. The problem arises when our idea of what we want our bodies to be leaves us in pain and suffering, which is often rooted in separation, shame, and fear, leading to control, perfectionism, and false hopes and dreams.

Healing Body Image

We can begin the healing process for our body image by focusing on embodiment, nourishment, desire, feeling our feelings, uncovering our core beliefs, and either cultivating radiance (for women) or purpose (for men).

Embodiment

Embodiment means to connect with our bodies now, on the body’s own terms. We can do this through movement, touch, pleasure, nature, sensuality, and sexuality.

Nourishment

Nourishment involves deep caring for ourselves through food, body care, taking time, rest, soulful hobbies/activities, and slowing down.

Desire

Desire is about getting in contact with the deepest longings of our bodies: desire for love, companionship, life, connection/purpose, money/things, and sensual/sexual desires.

Feeling our Feelings and Uncovering Core Beliefs

Feeling our feelings is about checking into feelings we have avoided or suppressed. We must also uncover and understand our beliefs about our bodies, sexuality, and love.

Cultivating Radiance and Purpose

For women, it's about cultivating radiance through receiving, allowing, opening up, and accepting all life's gifts, love, nourishment, and pleasure. For men, it's about purposeful giving, acting on instinct, acting from power, giving to the world from clarity and consciousness, and sharing gifts.

The Need to Control and the Cure

Perfection in body image or an intense desire to look a certain way often equals the need to control. This need to control stems from our discomfort with uncertainty and the unknown. We attempt to control an uncertain world by asking ourselves if we will be okay, loved, safe, or taken care of. This can lead to the false belief that if we can control our looks, weight, figure, and health, everything will be okay. However, changing the body to a specific look guarantees absolutely nothing.

The cure to these issues is authenticity. Being the real you now, speaking the truth, feeling feelings, and being present to uncomfortable feelings and truths is what matters.

Embracing Play and Putting Strategies into Action

When we don’t love our bodies, we have less fun. We often think that when we look better, we can engage in life more. However, it's crucial to have fun, humor, joy, goofiness, and lightness regardless of how we look. Make it a priority to heal your body image. Use the strategies mentioned above to do this. Step into authenticity and play. Stop using weight as an excuse not to live your best life. Reconnect with your body, and embark on this journey towards a positive body image.